Hello Amazing readers,

Thanks for taking time out to go through my previous posts! Today I will be discussing something different: 10 DREADFUL FIRST-TIME-CHAT “DONT’S” which of course means that you have at one point or the other become one of those BBM stereotypical guys.

So you fancy this girl you saw on a friend’s DP or otherwise and have succeeded in getting her PIN; these are the “DREADFUL DON’T’S”

1) DON’T go mute! You added her up, yippee! She accepted! What next? –The awkward silence. Now you made the first move, you should complete it by starting the chat first! I’m not exactly sure why some guys do this but I can tell you that it will make you pass as that “annoying” random guy and a creep. There are two ends to this; you will either fall into the “dead zone” which is pretty much worse than the “friend zone” or get deleted ASAP!

download (2)

2) DON’T begin your first chat with a “PING”!  I cannot stress it enough but beginning a chat with a PING is in itself really annoying, let alone “stranger pinging”. You will get a blunt reply for the patient ones, be ignored or deleted. It’s more polite to start with a “Hi” or “Hello”. If you get away with this however, the mood must have been good! 😀


3)  DON’T delve into those cheesy chat-up lines! Understand that you are just chatting with her for the first time. Trying to impress at this stage is just a super turn off for most girls and first impression counts. So be easy! Be yourself! Don’t begin to over flatter or try to sound too funny, you might end up cracking lame jokes. Take your time to “know” her. Chances are she may like your company and this would surely be a plus!

download (4)

4)  DON’T be too inquisitive! Now you have her attention; you both are getting to know each other and you turn the chat to chain questions? Understand that it’s too early to know all about her at once! Be a gentle man and reserve some questions for later! Who would actually let out everything about themselves to a total stranger? You would pass for a creep. Talk about yourself more! However, the “How about you” question is always very helpful because it makes her freely talk about herself without feeling compelled to.

download (3)

5)  “How old are you?” – DON’T! This should be under No.4 but for some reasons, for me it had to stand out because for a first time, I consider it dreadful! You are just getting to know her and you jump to the age question? Funny as it seems, this question tick most girls off for first times. It could appear that you are accessing her to know if she’s good enough for you or just being too damn nosey! I’ll say, be a gentle man and give some questions a little more time before you let them all out.

images (4)

6)  “Are you there?”– DON’T!  Peep this: “PING! PING! Are you there?” “Hello, don’t you want to chat with me?” –Please don’t! Just don’t! You would come off as a bug and will be denied that attention. Remember; first impression counts, make yours last! Be easy. Chances are she’s busy and will get back to you or she’s having that juicy convo with a friend and you will sure as hell be made the subject matter and eventually be deleted!

download (1)

7)  “Send me a picture of you”– DON’T! For a first time, this will make you seem like a thirsty-creep! You should not ask a girl to send you a/any picture of them (with or without emphasis on “nude”) until you have known them – reasonably!


8)  “Flirt?”– DON’T! Duck the flirty talks for the first time until and only when it becomes obvious that some chemistry has started to build up. When you realise that the friendship has transformed and the feeling is mutual then you can explore your flirting skills. However what works for A may not work for B – She may not love flirting! Before it gets to that stage, keep it simple and observe what she loves to chat about. Take your time.


9)  DON’T be a bore! Truth is – No girl loves a boring guy! You could be handsome, and have all it takes to sweep a girl off her feet but I tell you; if you’re boring, a guy who doesn’t have it with the looks can get a girl’s attention faster than you! Avoid the random questions, be friendly, be sweet, spark up a fun convo!


10)  DON’T expect much! Well, she seems not to cooperate? Truth is first times are most often that way. The worst you can do is: start flaring up and being rude– You will get deleted! The most you can do is: just stay friendly! In all, cut your expectations short. If it works out, bravo! If it doesn’t, keep your cool and remain that gentle-man! 😉



Nonye J. Chidolue (@NonyeWrites)



8 thoughts on “10 DREADFUL FIRST-TIME-CHAT “DONTS” (The BBM Male Stereotypes)

  1. There are guys out there who do these? Shamee. And there are girls who write about it??? Hahhahahaha bigger shame yo!!
    Oh well next blog… hahahahahaha


  2. Yeah. all true. The ones that really piss me off is the picture one. I also don’t like the “tell me about you talk” I always feel like “why don’t you just ask for my CV. Good post


  3. You very welcome -Jujaprime 🙂
    I hope so too haha -Neker 🙂
    Thanks! I dont like feeling compelled to talk about myself either. Its just long! Lol I’m glad we all relate to this somehow! -Fikayo 🙂
    Oh well ! -Micheal

    Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts guys! Happy New Week!


Your views are warmly welcome! :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s