How to stand out (The “Follow-Follow” Therapy! )

stand_out

Many a time, we feel that strong desire to want to be different, to be unique, admired and have others look up to us. We set standards higher than our own human capabilities which we most often never keep up with. The truth about it however is, “standing out” is never an easy kind of lifestyle in a world of mediocrity where everyone is working so hard and relatively doing so good at not being themselves just to be loved and accepted by others, and this is where the secret lies! Do what they are not doing, what they won’t do, what they don’t want you to do! STAND OUT.

HOW?

1)      BE YOURSELF.

This is more important than any other step. Nothing makes you stand out faster than being original. As I said earlier, there are already too many people aimlessly thriving at being who they really aren’t. Let’s say they’ve been taken but your true self is still waiting patiently to be let out, loved, admired! So let it out! Let people know who you really are regardless what anyone says or thinks about you. If they love you for you, keep them….if not, then they shouldn’t be kept as friends.

2) Strongly maintain your own opinions and decisions (but learn to take corrections too)

There’s so much that could easily make one very ugly one of which is always going with the decisions of others! Everyone doesn’t have to agree with you or believe you have made the right decision. What matters is that you have spotted what works for you and have decided to follow it. Remain individualistic always and don’t sway!  I’d like to add a phrase my principal way back in high-school (Regina Mundi Girls’ Secondary School) made us recite every morning:

“I am a unique and irreplaceable individual, my vocation in life is also personal therefore, I must not follow the group always!” This is still a guiding light for me.

 3) Expand your intellectual Horizon.

Strive to know more, do more, read more, be inquisitive, be innovative, try out new things, explore beyond your boundaries. Task yourself with little goals. By knowing a little more than your peers, colleagues or those you randomly come across, you automatically stand out! When you speak, you strike ears to listen which makes people get so curious about you and want to know more about you. But hey! You will attract the “haters” too but its fine because “you do not see them”. This should be your mind set.

4)  Mingle more with those above your age/those that generally inspire you

The thing about spending more time with older ones is that you tap from their knowledge, which for me is peak! That sense of independence defines you and you begin to act more matured than your own age bracket. As for those that generally inspire you, well they say if you want to be great, make friends with the great! They must not be people outrageously out of your reach e.g. Oprah? Look around, there must be some person(s) who you feel possess the qualities that attract you to them. Spend more time with them too and try to emulate these positive traits they have and apply it to your daily life. Don’t be clingy though! No one likes a clingy person.

5)      Spring-Clean your circle!

Yes! This is as vital as No.1. Check up on your circle of friends and make a good slash! The bitter truth is most friends get scared of “change”. When they perceive a change in you, perhaps you started hanging out less with them, stopped sitting to gossip with them, stopped drinking/smoking/clubbing or doing whatever you all normally engaged yourself with, it becomes a huge problem and they’ll hate you for this. Don’t get scared! Let them know it’s about you not them and if they can’t deal with it then they don’t deserve to remain in your circle. Cut them off! – Because you know where you are headed. (also bear in mind that on your way up, not all friends should be pulled along!)

6)      Find what you love and do it more often!

There’s nothing as beautiful and rewarding as being known for being good at a particular thing. It brings people close to you because everyone loves to associate with the best. Consistency makes perfection. Be it drawing, writing, paintings, soccer, as long as it’s positive and it makes you happy, give your time to it! Grow it! Nurture it! Do more of it! It’s your talent after all and sooner than you think it becomes a Job! You already heard; find what you love and you’ll never have to work a day.

 7)      Dress good, smell good, look good!

Funny?  Never underestimate the power of looking good always! The good looks don’t mean sitting in front of a mirror endlessly, touching up every bit of your face or squashing up your neck trying to knot a tie at all times, NO!  Be neat (check your hair, nails, body, and mouth), wear what looks good on you, be stylish, and be different. This will keep you in people’s head for a long time, get you noticed each time you pass and make people not only admire you but want to be associated with you! The best part of dressing good and looking good also is that it “ups your confidence”. That aura of confidence oozes all over you because you know for a fact that you’re looking good!

 8)      Be brave!

Become your own kind of Hero and by so doing, you end up being people’s Hero. Choose to lead rather than to follow, speak when others would shy away or rather not say what they feel,  leave when you feel unwelcome, politely disagree when you feel like you’re being misled, and most importantly, stick to your own beliefs (refer to no. 2). These altogether, gives you strong leadership qualities and draws people close to you. Everyone loves to mingle with those that can lead them rightly, tell them what to do when they are clueless, give them tips, advices and counselling and inspire them to be the best they can be and you can only prove that you possess these qualities by choosing to be BRAVE.

 9)      Be polite

Give a soft and well-mannered response at all times. There are already way too many people “winning” at being uncultured, be among the very few that will leave people with something good to remember. Showing respect and politeness never goes out of style! Say thank you when you have been assisted, pass cheerful compliments to brighten people’s day, pick up a neighbour’s object that just dropped on the floor, tell people how good they are at what they do, etc. –  The fact remains that when you’re polite, you will surely stand out!

10)   Be kind

This is about the cutest and most unique personality trait of one who stands out from the crowd, they choose to be kind! Those little acts of kindness surely keeps you in people’s minds forever. Because this is something people normally wouldn’t do, do it! Because this is something everyone neglects or do not feel obliged to do, do it! Do it not because you’re trying to impress or hoping to get a reward but because you have a good heart. Such acts of kindness makes you glow in a crowd, brings you good fortune and makes people look up to you!

 

These are my own collections! what other tips have worked for you? I will love to read from you! 🙂

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Nonye J. Chidolue (@NonyeWrites)

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