Why a Long Distance Relationship Will Thrive Better Than a Close Dating Relationship

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“But I’ve been taught that if you really want something, you make it work. So regardless of what happens, you make sure that when you are together it’s incredible.”– Rita Ora

I have often heard people express their utter dislike for Long distance relationships (LDR); regarding it as a fantasy of the real thing. There are wide range of reasons why an LDR is more difficult to maintain than a close dating relationship, but the success of an LDR depends on the parties involved in the relationship. I have not been much of a fan of long distance relationships I admit, but over the years I’ve come to realise that an LDR will better stand the test of time than a close dating relationship will, and here’s why–

1) Because absence makes the heart grow fonder
You’ve heard that before and you’re hearing it again, yes it does! You can’t always be all up in your partners face, it kills the vibe. In a research report, psychologist at Queen’s University–Emma Dargie, suggests that “couples who live far apart often report better functioning in a number of areas. The further apart the couple was, the better they were doing with respect to satisfaction, intimacy and communication”. Even in close dating relationships, there’s always that need for a “me time” every once in a while. LDR is very much healthy as it can spark up the relationship and fuel the energy and bond between the dating couple as they yearn and crave for the comfort of each other every minute of the day. In the meantime, enjoy the sugar rush that comes with your LDR! It’s always worth the ride!

2) Because it strengthens the value of communication in your relationship
It’s a rather sad fact that most relationships today have lost the core values of communication, all thanks to the readily accessible BBM chat medium, partners tend to forget to explore other means of communication that can go a long way in strengthening the relationship. It gets as bad as hardly even calling each other! Couples in an LDR on the other hand get more creative with the means of their communication. They will relish every means of keeping in touch and communicating their intimacy and need for passion with each other – through endless skype conversations, face timing, even the traditional exchanging of emails, beating each other at online games, it gets more fun by the day!

3) Because it builds up trust and Commitment
Many would agree that LDRs just suck! This is because it’s all sweet until you see couples happily and unapologetically expressing PDAs, and you’re there, just drowning in loneliness. Other times, one would say that it creates room for assumptions and insecurities since life continues at both ends regardless of how much promise the couple make to each other. In affirmation of this, I’d still state that LDRs are built and maintained on a high level of commitment and trust. Since trust is the prerequisite of every long lasting relationship, LDR builds the trust by closing up every vacuum caused by the distance through constant communication. This clears every airwave of distrust and doubts as partners are able to relate their feelings to each other on a daily basis.

4) Because partners master their own sense of independence whilst being apart
When couples are not used to seeing each other, they learn to build their own sense of responsibility towards themselves and likewise the relationship. We all know of that one relationship that had started off with that giddy feeling of warmth, fondness, picture-perfect but in the end somehow lost its spark because of over-dependence. Being apart from each other give both partners better chance of discovering and taking better responsibility of themselves especially in taking decisions even when in a relationship. (Read about the 6 common relationship spoilers here)

5) Because every day is a honeymoon!
In a close dating relationship, some days it’s all on, some days it’s all off and other days the relationship is just stuck somewhere in the middle of nowhere and the couple begin to contemplate taking a break. A well-grounded and dedicated LDR will make you respect and appreciate your partner and always look forward to hearing from them. Those day-to-day routine conversations build up the best memories in the years of your relationship. The distance becomes steady reminder of that someone out there that truly loves and appreciates you.

6) And in the end, if your LDR survives, you win! –because true love always wins…

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The beautiful thing about LDR’s is that after the relationship has stayed resilient regardless of the pain of the distance, you’re both for keeps! There’s no limit for two people who have been able to sustain their downsides and manage their feelings of insecurity, loneliness, fear and whatnots over distance and time and have finally come to embrace themselves. As lyrically sang by ABBA, “The winner takes it all…!”

Are you in a long distance relationship? How is it going for you? 🙂

Written By:  ‘Nonye J. Chidolue (@NonyeWrites)

https://www.facebook.com/peregrinereads

16 thoughts on “Why a Long Distance Relationship Will Thrive Better Than a Close Dating Relationship

  1. Hmmmm…
    Loner types like me ultimately favour LDRs but over the years, I’ve come to realise it’s not about spatial distance alone. I once dated a girl living in this same Lagos that I am but it was a struggle to see each other, even on weekends. She had time, I didn’t, and that kinda messed things up a bit. Understanding matters a lot and it also comes down to both parties wanting to put in all the required effort. Split visiting too, so one person doesn’t have to do the travelling all the time.

    Both parties have to understand the peculiar circumstances surrounding each other’s lives for it to work. LDRs can be rewarding if handled right but in the end, for any relationship type to work, you have to work. If effort is lacking on any side, it won’t matter if you’re staying in the same house or living on different continents.

    Incisive post Nonye…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wonderful. I really appreciate the point you took it from. I agree, it’s all about understanding because its so funny that even some close dating relationships suffer “LDRs” even being with each other. I believe if partners can truly share the same level of understanding and vision towards the relationship, there’s no stopping two people who truly desire to be together.

      Thanks Deoye!

      Like

  2. Hmmm… This is Really nice, I almost felt it was about me tho… Because I’m in a LDR! And its really going well for me and my gf. Everything written above on how to keep a LDR going well is just what we are doing! And its going great! Nice write up “The Peregrine”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. good write up as usual. well done. dating and marriage are surely not the same and can be equally treated in the topic under discussion. Most times long distance relationship in marriage tough it may enger more personal responsibility in those already responsible, it still has rocked many marriageable ges than it has helped to build. most times ladies bear the burden more. imagine a newly wedded wife who sees her husband only once in like 4 to five months. the unitive and procreative ends of marriage which ought to be always open to life will surely have to suffer and wen that happens, mistrust, insincerity, to mention but these wil, certainly become the order of the day

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Fr. J! Yeah I agree, LDRs are mostly practised by teenagers and unmarried folks. When it comes to marriage, its an entirely different ballgame since marriage comes with more responsibilities especially when children are involved and the burden is more on one person. But I know of marriages that the career lives of both parent can’t afford them always being together. I believe if couples can work it out properly and make time often to spend with their family, and still fulfil their marital responsibilities, its not a totally dead end. Thanks for throwing light on the dangers of LDR to marriages. These things happen too.

      Like

  4. I got this link via one of my twitter fam and its a worthy read.
    I’ve been a LDR person for the major part of my dating life, and its being an interesting but demanding experience. Its made me value the time spent together, made me disciplined person and a few other things.
    Good piece here

    Liked by 1 person

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