Teary Smile

gh

Is this a curse?
Do we always have to want what we can’t get?
Is love designed to hurt?
Why am I not good for you
Although I always think you are the best for me?
You think I can’t love you enough?

You think I can’t walk the path with you?
I am not as beautiful as the kind of woman you would want to love?
I am straight but you want a figure 8?
You want someone who would stress you up and make you stand on your toes –
But I don’t want to be the reason why you worry
I want to be the reason why you work at ease and make efforts to better you…
But I see that’s not what you want!
You love chasing but I made it too easy
Then it melted every feeling you seemingly felt
Reduced it to nothing but Friendship… it is something though;
But just “friendship” is nothing compared to the more I want –
Hence I am tempted to stay away
Tempted to run as far away as my legs can carry me,
Tempted to hate you!
But what I feel for you is beyond hatred,
It’s beyond selfishness,
It’s beyond the pain you cause me.
Why do I always find myself in this situation?
Unrequited love hurts!
That I handle pain well doesn’t mean I deserve this much pain.
Now I am burdened with being your friend. *Chuckles*
If you decide to cut off from me totally;
Probably to make me feel good or move on
I am sure I will cry for days –
But I will eventually stop crying,
And the love chase will swing back by 60%
I share a teary smile when you are happy –
Happy talking about someone else.
I am me, I can’t change.
I am super happy for you,
Although I am sad for me.
I know this too shall pass –
I know I will heal –
And I also know I won’t stop loving you.
I don’t know how I will survive this but I have to.
I will start by making sure I don’t set my eyes on you;
Looking at you makes me burn.
Dear love, please get used to the idea of never seeing me again.
I will be here to talk to you;
Via mails, chats, phone calls any way possible:
Asides seeing you eye to eye.
Don’t even think of skype! It has virtually the same effect.
I would walk out wherever I see you;
Not because we are enemies,
But because I can’t stand you anymore –
Till I am fully healed.
I don’t know how long this will take
But I certainly hope it won’t be forever.
This is not a poem, it’s not a letter, and it’s a not a romantic gesture.
It’s a bleeding heart scribbling words from tears,
Trying to make a decision.
The kind of decision that’s almost impossible to stand by.
I know I will miss you –
I miss you as I type.
I feel this sharp pain in my heart each time I think of you.
But it will heal, right?
It has to.

Written By: Elsie Godwin (@elsieisy)
http://www.elsieisy.com

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3 thoughts on “Teary Smile

  1. Aw! This is mighty heart-wrenching and you’ve got my waterworks a-flowing cause this hits so close home and well, it does resonate to a certain degree, by several long shots; just! Lol

    Unrequited love’s the worst feeling anyone can go through! Craving, yearning and longing for someone you can never have and worst still, its not the easiest feeling to surmount or get past, you’d be lucky if you do but then again; you’ve gotta if you wanna get a move on!

    You’re pretty special, you’re not too much; you’re just enough! You’re soooo worth dying for, the absolute ‘bestest’ of your kind and in time, you’ll find true healing and even better, a new love! One who’ll love you for who you are and whom you’ll also love back with much the same intensity; you’ll see! Just hang in there yet for a lil while, open up your heart to the possibility of a new affection and he’d be revealed in time to take away your pains! You think you love this other guy now ei?! Just you wait till your very own finds his way into that beautiful heart of yours, then you’ll marvel and question this feeling of affection you hitherto had for your friend! *laughing*

    I hope its working this pep talk! *rme* You know what? Feel better, you’ll be mighty fine! Worthy of mention also is the fact that Topazo pointed me here and I can see why! Its a magnificent piece, with an outpouring of real, raw emotions! It don’t get any realer than this! Thanks for sharing and find healing! Everyone deserves to be loved, especially you! Be happy! Cheers! *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

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